Been a long, long time since I’ve written a manosphere entry, my friends. I haven’t felt the need to in quite a while, partially because the manosphere itself seems pretty dead these days–a subject likely worth a post of its own. But on a whim I looked at one of the few “old-school” manospambot sites that are still around, and a comment I caught really struck me. I figured it was worth dusting off my ol’ manospambot analysis goggles and taking a good look at it, because it really was quite educational.
A couple days ago at the time of this writing, Rollo Tomassi wrote a post that started off as this:
“For the past 12 years I’ve been asked some variation of this question:
‘Rollo, why should a man bother with women at all today? All women today, yes all women, are vain, self-important, narcissistic, hubristic and entitled. What average man would ever want to have anything to do with the average woman?'”
The rest of Rollo’s post is a complaint about how bad the relationship situation between men and women is today, and how men know they can’t expect much from women, but very obviously, Rollo never even comes close to answering the original question he started off with, and a fellow in the comments section made note of it:
“Thanks for the essay, Rollo. But you didn’t answer your question. You explained only what prompted it…You continue to denigrate this Black Pill as if it’s demonstrably wrong. BP [that is to say, MGTOW, or just avoiding women entirely] is a conclusion, not a body of knowledge. Given the issues you rightly elucidate, you’re bafflingly blind as to why BP would be such a poor pathway.”
Well, Mr. MGTOW, if you’re “baffled” by Mr. Tomassi’s apparent refusal to answer the question, I can tell you why he’s so reluctant. It’s two words, and two words only: SELF. INTEREST.
See, ya gotta think of it from Rollo’s perspective. Sure, he’s apparently got a decent job, but there’s never any such thing as making too much money. And where does Rollo make his extra income? Well, from the manosphere/red-pill/”any man having trouble with women in even a general sense” crowd. He has to sell them his books, of which there are now 4 on Amazon–be sure to check them out now! And there’s also his blog itself, which provides the less concrete but still meaningful wages of affirmation, simps–er, I mean, fans telling him how wonderful he is, and so on.
Now, what do all of Rollo’s books and blogposts have in common? Well, they’re mainly about how men and women relate to each other (usually negatively). This is obviously me being very charitable, most folks would say most of Rollo’s writing and blog essays are just about how terrible women are in general, but he’d quickly reply with “you just don’t understand these DEEP TRUTHS” , so let’s just leave that out of the way and take him on his own terms. So fine, even being as nice to him as possible, almost everything he’s written revolves around women in some way: Evolution designed women to be completely disloyal, women will kill your dreams, “Make Your Mission, NOT a Woman your Priority,” marriage sucks, society is loaded against men and favors women, and so on, and so forth, et cetera.
But if we take this to its logical conclusion, Rollo runs into quite a significant problem. Let’s say you’re an ordinary guy who’s entirely internalized everything Rollo’s written, and you fully and entirely accept that men and women have almost nothing in common and you’re better off avoiding them completely. So you take the MGTOW approach and just cut them out of your life–no more, no less. You’re not angry or butthurt or obssessed about it (this is where most MGTOW fail, I guess I’m idealizing them here, and I’ll get to this at the end of this essay). You just don’t bother with women at all, cut back your interactions with them, get your sexual release from porn if you need to, and generally live a happy, woman-free life. No hatred, no anger, just cold rationality, like the first commenter said.
If you do that, what reason do you have to read anything Rollo writes, much, much less pay actual money for his books? Remember, just about everything he’s written involves women in some way. If you interact with women barely, or even not at all (intentionally or not, there are some fairly gender-segregated places where there just aren’t many women for even normal guys to interact with, like some types of industry towns), pretty much everything he writes becomes irrelevant–although of course, he’ll try to tell you that we all live in a “feminine primary world” and even wandering off to Mount Athos, the MGTOW holy land, will never allow you to escape from women, meaning you have to buy his books and give his blog clicks anyways if you want to fight/survive (it’s not quite clear which) the Feminine Primary Order. Ain’t that convenient!
That’s the rub, my friends. Rollo might claim to want to liberate you from “the Matrix,” but his secondary income stream (at least) relies on you staying trapped within it, endlessly grinding your wheels against either the supposed evils of women (call it nature or evolutionary biology or whatever you like), or constantly trying to “manage/dominate/game” them despite the ostensibly stratospheric risks and abysmal rewards. If his fans *actually took* his ideas to their logical conclusion, then his book sales would plunge straight off a cliff. There’s an Upton Sinclair quote that goes, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” In Rollo’s case, it can be restated as this: “A man whose salary depends on you not understanding something will not give you much help in understanding it.”
Ah, but there’s one more problem for the commenter I mentioned, and it likely hasn’t occurred to him: The same applies to MGTOW.
Again, think about it. Let’s say you’ve truly internalized MGTOW ideology and women simply aren’t a part of your life–no anger, no hate, no bitterness, just complete indifference. If that’s the case, if you’re truly “going your own way,” you don’t need a community for it, and you certainly don’t need a funny acronym for it, as I’ve pointed out before. You’d just call yourself a bachelor/uninterested in relationships and marriage and be done with it. But is this actually a good thing for most self-proclaimed MGTOWS? I’ve noticed, and you probably have too, that more than a few of them always advertise their Patreons, or hawk books like “MGTOW Minimalism” or “The MGTOW solution,” or try to sell you crap on their channels, a la Turd Flinging Monkey’s onahole reviews. If a man actually didn’t care about women at all, and had no need to constantly, incessantly hear about how terrible they are, would he be at all inclined to drop even a single cent on some whiny Youtuber’s patreon or buy a half-assed, unedited screed off Amazon? Hell no. Which means that, ironically enough, many prominent “Men Going Their Own Way” actually have a very vested financial interest in Men Not Actually Going Their Own Way. Their salaries depend on their audience not taking their advice.
(I’m not even gonna go into the blackpill/incel stuff–those guys might not be venal, but they sure are nuts. Any sensible man would just avoid that scene absolutely and entirely)
I can understand why a lot of guys get sucked into the manosphere stuff at first–I did too a while back. Thankfully I was just a reader and observer, so I wasn’t involved in any real drama, nor did I spend money on any of their books or products. But if any younger guys are reading this now, and have started to get attracted to either the “rational male” stuff you see from guys like Rollo, or the MGTOW stuff you see from guys like his commenter, well, just keep this in mind. These guys aren’t necessarily angels and they’re not necessarily interested in your well-being first and foremost. I won’t tell you what to believe, and I’m certainly not gonna tell you to go off and get married, but I am going to tell you that a bit of skepticism in regards to what you read, both from me and the guys I’m talking about, will serve you well indeed. Though the fact that I’m not asking you to buy a book or donate to a patreon might be proof I’m a little less likely to disappoint a skeptic 😉